Remembering My Friend, My Sister...

A little more than a year before I met my same-age friend DPB she had her first child, her son, on my birthday!  In January her son's twins turned two.  Also, last weekend DPB's daughter joined our sisterhood, became a member of our sorority.  DPB and I had both joined our sisterhood in the late 60s, in central region, when we were in different midwestern colleges.  Years later we could talk about having attended our first regional conference in St. Louis, MO, in the spring of 1969.  We didn't meet each other until seven or eight years later at a sorority meeting in the Chicago suburbs. 

On February 18, 2000, DPB became an Ivy Beyond the Wall...and because DPB is no longer here in the flesh, her family/friends and I weren't on the train with The Obamas as they went from Philadelphia to Washington, D.C., before the Inauguration!  (DPB would have made arrangements for us to be on that historic train ride.)  I do believe she telephoned me while she was at The Million Woman March in Philadelphia.  She and I were working an event for my sister in New York while my sister and brother-in-law were in Washington for one of the Clinton inaugural events in the 90s.

Although her family lived in Illinois for a brief time, we spent time together, literally, from coast-to-coast (and beyond) during our nearly 25 year friendship of sharing and loving.  Her family joined my family for a couple of days while we were vacationing in Hawaii (and her family lived in California).  I think her children have been in more states in the USA than anyone I know.  (They probably take it for granted.)  She was already ill when I accompanied her to do some running around to make certain a friend's child's medical school application was complete.  (The young doctor was one of the young people at the funeral.) 

DPB introduced me to Toni Morrison's writing years before anyone knew who Toni Morrison was.  DPB and friends organized a first of its kind book club that had a format and events that preceded and rivaled Oprah's ventures in grandeur.  DPB was an avid reader!  (And that is an understatement.)  

Her brown, leather organizer was rich and well-worn by the final years.  I don't think she had it when we first met, but she probably got it shortly afterwards.  She was organized and organized others and events--even if she was not part of the group trying to accomplish something.  I know she assisted me with some personal challenges that I can't even write about.  I'd say she did the same for countless others!

A gift I received through DPB is quite unusual:  Her mother-in-law, BB!  For about twenty years I watched the relationship between BB and her son's family and decided that BB is the kind of mother-in-law I want to be.  I love the way BB interacted with her daughter-in-law through the years.  I look forward to continually developing my relationship with my son's family and my precious daughter-in-law...using the BB/DPB relationship as my model.

Love, feasts, and hospitality...all with CLASS!  I miss my friend, but rejoice in having known her and the additional family and friends I have...all because DPB and I crossed paths through our shared sisterhood!  What I am going to strive to do this February is not be sorrowful because she is not with us.  I am going to be glad because she lives on in my treasured memories, through her family that I love, and within my heart that knows a broader definition of LOVE.  Thanks DPB, my sister, my friend!